GIVING UP ON GODOT
Written by- Manav kaul
Translation by- Vanya Singh
Scene- 1
(Kabir, Neel, Sookhi, Nurse, Niranjan, Jeevan and Suraj are all sitting in a spot, looking at the source of the light. Suddenly an announcement starts, with accompanying music. The announcement speeds through every major event in the country from Nehru’s speech at Independence till now. Everyone stands up when hearing the announcement. By the time it finishes, they are all staring at the light sources, puzzled.)
Niranjan: This is a play!
Kabir: Play?
Nurse: Play!
Suraj: What are you talking about?
Neel: No…no…no, no.
Jeevan: If this is a play then we all die at the end
Sookhi: What about the audience? Do they get to live?
Niranjan: That’s what they think.
Kabir: Why are we just standing around here?
Neel: Yeah, what are we doing?
Niranjan: We’re waiting.
Nurse: Waiting?
Kabir: For whom? (everyone looks at him. He turns his gaze to the light and says:) Godot.
Nurse: We have to wait for him till the end.
Sookhi: Because we’re afraid…
Suraj: That he’ll come.
Niranjan: Bang on the door…
Nurse: And we won’t be here…
Sookhi: He’ll go to the other side then
Neel: Because they’re waiting for him there too. Everyone’s waiting for him.
Nurse: I can hear his footsteps.
Niranjan: He’s close…
Sookhi: He’ll turn up any minute now
Suraj: Any moment
Nurse: He’s practically here already
Sookhi: I
Niranjan: Just
Nurse: Saw him
Sookhi: Saw him
Suraj: Saw him
Niranjan: Saw him.
Black out
Scene- 2
Nurse: What’s his name?
Neel: Kabir.
Nurse: Just Kabir?
Neel: He had his surname removed
Jeevan: He doesn’t ‘believe in it’
Nurse: Well that’s convenient! The rest of the world believes in it though.
Suraj: Right? That’s what I’ve been saying
Nurse: (To Suraj) I’m admitting him because you brought him in. Your responsibility.
Suraj: He needs treatment…he’s a friend of mine so I thought…
Neel: No he’s my friend- no- I’m his friend. A really old friend.
Nurse: Just a friend?
Suraj: Yes, just friends. I mean, the two of them are just friends. The two of us…are getting married.
Neel: Shhh
Jeevan: I’ve been with him since we were kids.
Nurse: What’s your name?
Jeevan: Jeevan.
Nurse: Surname?
(Jeevan stays silent)
Nurse: Alright, I’m writing your name here. So, ‘just Jeevan’, what do you do?
Jeevan: I work.
Nurse: Whose work?
Jeevan: Everybody's.
Sookhi: Oh hello! Has he just come?
Neel: Who is this?
Sookhi: I’m a sometimes-patient of this place, just like he’s a just-now one. This is my bed, his is over there, that side of the ward.
Neel: He will recover, won’t he?
Nurse: Well we have to see how ill he is first. I’m arranging some tests for him…Jeevan come with me you’ll have to fill in some forms.
Jeevan: Sure
(Sookhi keeps her eyes fixed on Kabir and goes to her bed. Neel and Suraj sit on a bench as if posing for a photograph. Like in old black and white movies, they appear to be looking somewhere very far away, over the horizon…Kabir gets up and looks at the audience as if he’s looking at Neel and Suraj)
Kabir: Why are you smiling?
Neel: Who’s smiling? We’re not smiling.
Kabir: Yes you are
Suraj: oh for- we’re not smiling!
Neel: We got really worried, you know.
Kabir: Why?
Neel: Jeevan called from your number after all these years… we rushed here as fast as we could.
Kabir: I’m completely fine.
Suraj: They’re saying something in your brain-
Neel: Shhh
Suraj: Jeevan said you just collapsed where you were standing.
Kabir: You’re Suraj right?
Suraj: Arrey! Of course I’m Suraj- your friend Suraj. Are you just recognizing me now? I’m the only reason you’re even here-
Neel: You’ve been given high doses, that's why you can’t feel anything.
Kabir: This is as much as I can feel these days.
Suraj: You should feel lucky…all it took was one call from me to the hospital and they came to pick you up themselves.
Neel: This isn’t actually a hospital
Kabir: What do you mean? Where are we then?
Neel: Somewhere like a hospital
Suraj: It’s away from the city, and very disciplined.
Kabir: I have a lot of work to do
Neel: You need to rest
Suraj: Also- what’s your surname man? I told them you’re Hindu. You’re safe everywhere if you’re Hindu
Neel: We didn’t tell them anything of the sort
Kabir: I’m not Hindu
Neel: I know.
Suraj: You’re Muslim? In that case-
Kabir: No.
Suraj: Christian??
Kabir: Weren’t you about to fly Neel?
Suraj: What the hell are you talking about?
Kabir: Weren’t you about to fly?
Neel: Yes, I will fly.
Suraj: Fly? Who will fly? What will fly? Nobody’s going to fly…he’s ill.
(Suraj gets up in a rage. Meanwhile, Niranjan has stood up. He is looking for something, and can’t find it)
Kabir: Where’s your moustache?
Suraj: On my face
Kabir: Nope, you don’t have a moustache
Suraj: Have you completely lost it? Muttering nonsense now- will you fly, where’s your moustache…of course I have a bloody moustache. It’s right in front of you! (Yells by the end)
Neel: He does have a moustache.
Scene- 3
(Niranjan is going around the whole room looking for something. Nurse enters, he goes back to sit on his bed)
Niranjan: Have you seen my glasses?
(Kabir tries to say something but Niranjan shushes him. Nurse passes by them and starts tending to other patients)
Niranjan: He didn’t have a moustache, Rohit
Kabir: It’s Kabir.
Niranjan: Kabir, Rohit, same thing. Point is, he didn’t have a moustache.
Kabir: Right? You saw that too? I thought it was just me because I’m not well.
Niranjan: You just make sure you don’t recover too well
Kabir: But why didn’t you say anything when they were here?
Niranjan: It’s dangerous to say anything here…you know this is actually a play.
Kabir: Even you know about that? I’ve been saying for ages that this is all just a play. People are taking their characters way too seriously…even though them being Vimal or Kamal or Amal or Indrajit is just a random accident. And who- how many people are in this play?
Niranjan: Everyone
Kabir: Including you?
Niranjan: Nobody who’s in the play knows they’re in it. That’s the whole problem.
Kabir: So who figures it out?
Niranjan: Well, you know if you’re an audience member. But very few people are.
Kabir: I want to be an audience member
Niranjan: You won’t survive it.
Kabir: Why?
Niranjan: Every lamb is convinced it’s a lion…that it will survive what the others didn’t because they were all lambs.
Kabir: Who is the lion then?
Niranjan: Whoever turns around and tells the lambs- you’re free. This wide open field is all yours. Just don’t go beyond that, because that’s where the danger is.
Kabir: I need to get out of here
Niranjan: Who’s stopping you?
Kabir: So can I…go?
(Kabir goes to one of the doors and knocks. It is locked. He goes to the second door and knocks, but this one is also locked. Nurse enters from the first door)
Nurse: How are you feeling?
Kabir: I’m just a member of the audience at the moment…but I don’t want to be part of this play.
Niranjan: Shhh. Shut up!
Nurse: (To Kabir) You need rest. (To Niranjan) Is Godot here yet?
Niranjan: Any minute now
Nurse: We’re all just waiting.
Niranjan: Listen, I wanted to ask- my shoes are too tight, it hurts to walk in them. Can I just walk barefoot?
Nurse: That’s not allowed. (To Kabir) We’ve ordered shoes in your size.
Nurse EXIT
Niranjan: We’re all bad actors. Like that nurse. Can’t you tell just by looking at her that she wanted the role of the doctor? Never wanted to be the nurse, but was cast as the nurse. Just look at how harsh her every move is. Look at that- there are two doors…the entrance and exit and between them, an empty stage. Anything is possible here. Now tell me- are you in the audience, or are you an actor?
(The window light is switched on. Kabir has just noticed the window for the first time. He goes over to it as if drawn to it, or something loved is on the other side)
Kabir: I feel a growing gap between my soul and body. I’ve been fighting my whole life to remain a member of the audience. Fighting to not be a bad actor in my own damn story. But can I spend the rest of my life suspended in neutrality? At the curtain call when they take the bow, can I simply applaud myself and call it a life?... Shhhh. I am in the audience. I am just an audience member.
Niranjan: I swear I left my glasses somewhere here.
(Both turn and look back from the window. Sookhi is building her sky and doing a strange, slow dance. Her arms are too short to reach the sky- Niranjan goes over and gives her a stool. She climbs on it and continues. Kabir comes over to her side)
Kabir: What are you doing?
Sookhi: Shhh. I’m making my sky.
Kabir: Indoors?
Sookhi: Everyone's got their own wide open sky. It’s our right. Nobody gets to kill that.
Kabir: Should I help?
Sookhi: We don’t need your help.
Kabir: Why?
Sookhi: Because this is our sky.
Kabir: How long have I been here? (Sookhi moves to Kabir’s side, and comes extremely close)
Sookhi: You always need to know things don’t you? What will you do with all these questions?
Kabir: What’s happened to me?
Sookhi: More questions?
Kabir: Well I can’t help having questions can I? What am I doing here? Who do I talk to? How long do I have to stay? What’s happened to me?
Sookhi: See that window there? Beyond it- that’s where all the answers are. Jump, and you might find them.
Kabir: The answers to all my questions?
Sookhi: No- that’s where The Answers are. Leave your petty little questions here, they won’t help you on that side.
Kabir: Then what’s the point?
Sookhi: What do you mean what’s the point? This is a hospital.
Kabir: This is not a hospital.
Sookhi: Well it’s not your home either. Now jump if you want, otherwise get lost.
(Kabir goes over to the window and looks outside. He sees nothing. When he turns around he sees that Sookhi has taken a seat on the bench next to his bed, and Suraj has joined her. Kabir jumps out of the window, and sees Neel sitting there. Sookhi and Suraj are talking to the bed as if Kabir is still lying there.)
Sookhi: He’s smiling…
Suraj: Maybe he’s getting better.
Kabir: Neel.
Neel: Do you remember this pond? There was a picture of it up in your room…even though we’d never actually visited it. Have you ever looked down at the lines on your palms, shifting, adjusting? Do you understand what I am trying to say? After a certain age there is no greater tragedy than moving your hands, trying to make the lines on your palms shift.
Suraj: How can you call yourself a man and talk of tragedy? (Stands up on the stool, assumes the pose of an Alpha Male.)
Sookhi: Again with the tragedy. Everything is going to alright Kabir.
Kabir: I am writing a tragedy.
Neel: You know I’m going to fly as soon as I turn thirty five?
Suraj: I’m seeing a theme here. What’s with the flying? Why would you fly? It’s out of the question.
Sookhi: When you say that-
Neel: I won’t fly, or you’ve forgotten that I’m going to?
Kabir: I’ve always wanted to see you fly.
Sookhi: This is my flight, not yours. My sky.
Suraj: We’re supposed to be together forever. Is marriage a joke to you?
Neel: I came to your house to give you the invitation card for my wedding.
Kabir: But you know I’ve been staying here
Neel: But I always dreamt of it that way. Whenever I’d get married…I’d go to your house, and hand you the invitation.
Kabir: What kind of a dream is that?
Suraj: What kind of a dream is that?
(Sookhi and Kabir get up suddenly)
Suraj: Say what you came here to say. Be quiet now.
Kabir: Why have you come here?
Suraj: She’s got an account to settle with you.
Kabir: What account?
Sookhi: I was doing some calculations when you fell ill…turns out you still owe me some things.
Kabir: What things?
Neel: My wings…the sky…the leap.
Sookhi: Forget it, we’ll figure it out once you’ve recovered completely.
Suraj: Oh just tell him now…people like him never ‘recover completely’
Kabir: I’m feeling fine right now, just tell me.
Sookhi: I don’t want to discuss it like this.
Kabir: Like what?
Suraj: It doesn’t matter, just say it now please.
Sookhi: But it doesn’t look good…you lying in a hospital bed and me talking about debts and settling accounts.
Kabir: Doesn’t look good to who? Are there more people watching?
Suraj: Say it…
Kabir: Say it…
Neel: I am going to fly tomorrow.
Kabir: Tomorrow
Suraj: What’s this nonsense?
(Neel turns and looks at Sookhi. Both of them smile and start walking towards each other…and stand on either side of the window as if they are facing a mirror. Sookhi is looking at the light streaming in through the window, Neel turns around. They both start a very slow dance.)
Sookhi: Are you turning thirty-five tomorrow? Will you fly?
Neel: If you finish building that sky of yours by tomorrow, I’ll look for my wings.
Sookhi: Have you lost your wings?
Neel: Every story I have lived so far has a few precious, sunlit moments. I’ve been plucking feathers off my wings and leaving them like bookmarks in these little moments…to make sure I can always find them, every time. And just like that I’ve divided up my flight in temptations I’ve already lived.
Sookhi: But collecting all those feathers is going to take ages.
Neel: By the time you’ve turned everything blue, I’ll have them ready.
Sookhi: Tomorrow.
Neel: Tomorrow.
Suraj: You can’t fly! I’ve given you so much freedom…and you want to fly now? We’re going home…shut up and get back to work now.
(Sookhi leaves, Kabir comes inside. Suraj grabs hold of Neel’s hand and tries to drag her inside. Kabir stops him. Nurse enters)
Nurse: What is going on here?
Kabir: What are you doing…let her go.
Suraj: You let me go! He’s gone mad again Nurse.
(Sookhi sees the Nurse and returns to her bed. Nurse walks towards Kabir, first slaps his wrist, then hits him on the head. Kabir crumples to the ground. Neel frees herself and takes her place sitting by the window. Suraj is a little shocked and looks at the Nurse)
Suraj: I came to visit him. Don’t know what came over him suddenly…started muttering something and trying to jump out of the window.
Nurse: Why?
Suraj: (Reading from a book) He said he’d…fly.
Nurse: Flying is not permitted in the hospital.
Blackout.
Scene- 4
(Jeevan is wandering around, Niranjan is looking for his glasses and Kabir is lying on his bed)
Niranjan: Has anyone seen my glasses?
Jeevan: They’re on your head.
(Niranjan takes them off his head and slams them down. He gets up and starts roaming around)
Niranjan: Why? Why the hell did you tell me?
Jeevan: You gave me work, I did the work.
Niranjan: What am I supposed to do with my time now? Mind telling me that too?
Jeevan: You sought and you found.
Niranjan: I prefer the exhaustion of looking to the total boredom that comes after having found.
Jeevan: You can always lose them again.
Niranjan: What’s your name?
Jeevan: Jeevan.
Niranjan: You aren’t…Godot disguised as Jeevan are you?
Jeevan: Godot…he…
Niranjan: He should be here any moment now…
Jeevan: As Jeevan?
Niranjan: You tell me
Jeevan: What?
Niranjan: Are you Godot?
Jeevan: I am Jeevan
Niranjan: Where did you come from?
Jeevan: I came from there…
Niranjan: Why?
Jeevan: To meet my friend- that’s him there, Kabir.
Niranjan: Oh he got it bad last night. He was trying to jump out of the window…they’ve given him some massive injections. I doubt he’s going to wake up anytime soon…you should come back later.
Jeevan: I have time.
Niranjan: Arrey he might not wake up today at all.
Jeevan: I’ve got to stay here for the time allotted for this.
Niranjan: Why??
Jeevan: My pockets are filled with slips with important tasks written on them. I’ve just withdrawn two that are blank, which means I have to do nothing.
Niranjan: That’s a great way to work!
Jeevan: This is the only way I know how to work.
Niranjan: How long have you had this system?
Jeevan: Since childhood really. I’ve been busy since I was a child. People kept giving me work and I kept growing up.
Niranjan: Wait, so let me get this straight…anyone can just walk up to you, write an important task on a piece of paper, and drop it in your pocket? And you’ll actually do it?
Jeevan: Yes. That’s how it works now. Before I came up with this system, people would just give me important work to do and I would forget. So now people write it and drop it in my pocket. I’m so used to it now, I do it with my own work too.
Niranjan: There are some real jerks out there if they give you blank slips just to wind you up.
Jeevan: No, no, that’s a clever little trick I’ve learned. I mix in a few blank slips along with all the papers filled with important tasks. That way, when I draw a blank paper, it means I get to do nothing. I get really excited when that happens- there’s nothing as freeing as not working during work hours!
Niranjan: Will you do something for me?
Jeevan: But you already found your glasses.
Niranjan: There’s a much bigger task…some crucial work we all have to do
Jeevan: Me included?
Niranjan: Of course…you’re ‘Jeevan’, everything is connected to you.
Jeevan: Well if it’s that important, write it down. I’ll try and finish while I have time left.
(Jeevan passes Niranjan a blank slip of paper. Niranjan starts writing.)
Niranjan: I want the beginning and end of this book.
Jeevan: What book?
Niranjan: Waiting for Godot!
Jeevan: But…Beckett didn’t write a beginning or end for that.
Niranjan: Oh come on, how is that possible? Godot needs to arrive doesn’t he? You just get me the start and the finish.
Jeevan: Alright, I’ll do it when I have time. My time here is over, I have to go. And listen…Kabir is very fragile, take care of him.
(Jeevan keeps the slip of paper in his pocket and exits. Niranjan starts reading a book. Kabir wakes up and walks over to the window. After a while, Niranjan walks over and stand behind him)
Kabir: I love looking at the stars. Every time I look up at them I feel like our ancestors are looking down at us with their impossibly shiny eyes. That with some implacable, distant calm they are absolving humanity of all its sins. Even after all the betrayals…and oh we have betrayed our own ancestors, this earth, too many times- always assuming that they will forgive. That they are cosmically coded to absolve us of our crimes. That their inevitable duty, their unchanging religion, is to forgive us. And in the meanwhile what have we done? We’ve learnt neither our religion nor the delicate craft of forgiveness. Sometimes I want to sink to my knees and bow my head and confess- I am human. I am of the species that came here, destroyed everything and then fought amongst itself till the bitter end.
Niranjan: What are you talking about?
(Niranjan goes over to the door and stands there expectantly, as if waiting for someone. Kabir comes to stand next to him)
Kabir: Is someone coming to see you?
Niranjan: There’s no one outside.
Kabir: What does that mean?
Niranjan: The same way you know there was no moustache. (To the audience) He had a moustache…he had a moustache…he had a moustache.. .(10 times). A lie repeated often enough starts to sound like the truth.
Kabir: So who are you waiting for?
Niranjan: Godot…he should be here by now. He knows we’re waiting for him.
Kabir: We? Am I waiting for him too?
Niranjan: Yes.
(Kabir goes back to the window)
Kabir: It’s not easy, staying in the audience. Your looking -
Niranjan: And not looking too-
Kabir: Makes you a part of the story. Alright then…In the world of this play enters Kabir.
(As soon as he finishes his line, Kabir goes back to Niranjan and they start acting)
Kabir: Godot is almost here
Niranjan: But he didn’t didn’t sound very sure when he said he was coming, did he?
Kabir: And if he doesn’t come?
Niranjan: Then we’ll come back here tomorrow and keep waiting.
Kabir: And then day after…and the day after that.
Niranjan: Exactly.
Kabir: This is a tiring job
Niranjan: This is the place where we’re supposed to be waiting right?
Kabir: Where if not here?
Niranjan: But it was this ward of this hospital?
Kabir: I’m not…completely sure
Sookhi: I am. He will come.
Niranjan: Shhhh, be quiet!
Sookhi: It’s alright, you’re new here. That’s why your faith is on shaky ground. I’ve been here ages, and I am absolutely certain that he will come.
Niranjan: Wait he said he’d be here… (reads aloud from book) on Sunday.
Kabir: Is today Sunday?
Niranjan: I think so…oh no wait it’s Saturday…you’re a young man, you should know this!
Kabir: I don’t even know how long I’ve been here.
Niranjan: What if today is Monday? What if he came yesterday and we missed it?
Kabir: But we were all here yesterday…we would have seen him.
Niranjan: Are you sure?
Kabir: Where else would we have been?
Niranjan: What if I was in the bathroom and you had jumped out of the window again?
Kabir: Then he would have waited for us. Just like we’re waiting for him.
Niranjan: He’s insanely busy…he wouldn’t have waited. And if he’s already come, he won’t be back.
Kabir: Let’s find out what day it is today first.
Sookhi: It’s Wednesday…and he didn’t come last Sunday, I was here.
Kabir: I am not a good actor.
Niranjan: None of us are good actors.
Kabir: I’ve waited my whole life for the day when everything would change. I can’t wait anymore…it’s all a lie.
Sookhi: You should run away from this place
Niranjan: No- there’s nothing out there.
Sookhi: Listen to me, take your chance, run away. You’re a new patient...
Niranjan: Shut up!
Sookhi: And I’m the forgotten patient…who’s been here longer than people can remember
Niranjan: You’ve been that for years.
Sookhi: You’re lucky I’m still here occupying this bed- the bed of the forgotten patient. But I’m not well, and I won’t last much longer. And as soon as I am gone, this ward will move like clockwork, everyone will move just one exact step forward. Like the hands of a clock- you’ll shift to my bed, that man will move to the opposite one. And as soon as you reach this bed…you are going to start feeling better. This desperate restlessness you carry will vanish- you’ll be part of this play.
Niranjan: We’re all part of this play.
Kabir: But who will take my bed?
Sookhi: A new ‘new patient’
Kabir: And what about you?
Niranjan: She will have gone by then
Kabir: Gone where?
Sookhi: The play’s final exit.
Kabir: Am I still in the audience?
Niranjan: Nobody here is in the audience. If you still think you’re just watching, you’re delusional.
Kabir: I don’t want to act in this play…I want to leave.
Niranjan: Listen, Godot will be here any second.
Sookhi: Yes, Godot will definitely come.
(Kabir runs to the door and knocks on it, but it’s locked from the outside. He goes to the other door, which is also locked. Nurse enters, and Sookhi, Kabir, and Niranjan cower in their place. Nurse takes centre stage and begins speaking as if addressing a crowd)
Nurse: What’s going on here? Where are you going? Here we are, working night and day for you and not one of you has the decency to respect that. Don’t you want to recover? You’re not joining the outside world until you’ve recovered completely, I can tell you that. Why can’t you understand that it is vital that all of you recover? When the common note of the people’s voices is heard- your voices should be part of it. No hesitation, no ideas- one scream, one colour, one voice. All your notes are shaky at the moment, you are all a little off pitch. This isn’t a hospital, but you are patients. That’s why we’re doing all the tests. There seems to be some contamination in the blood, your DNA is being tested…whose side are you on? Where are you from? How did your skin get so thick? We have to wear it down, make it thinner. if you’re hit I should hear the scream. People walking outside should be able to hear it, hear the mistake. Not that there will be mistakes…everything will be done exactly as it should- twist and break and then wash and dry. The one who’s going to come…he is going to be on our side. He will come and fix everything…we’re all waiting. The voices outside are of people waiting. Pay attention…do you hear the noise of the chappal clad left feet slapping the ground? You have to silence that. Pay attention to the sound of the right feet, the boots, these are important. The chappals won’t last long, they will break and leave you defenceless against the thorns and the rubble. History is witness to the fact that the people with boots are the people with the right stories. The chappals…they belong to wastrels, to small people who die, who are killed. And all this nonsense about listening with both ears- it won’t do. One ear only (Points to the right ear). If you can hear it all with this one what do you need two for? Listen with this, carefully, and fix your note. Fix your pitch before we have to wash it, and dry it.
Black out
Scene- 5
(Neel and Sookhi are laughing, lying by the side of the window, eventually they grow quiet)
Neel: Who’s laughing?
Sookhi: I didn’t laugh
Neel: You?
Sookhi: No no, not you, me.
Neel: Do you remember everything?
Sookhi: Everything.
Neel: From what point?
Sookhi: From the beginning.
Neel: Do you know that to domesticate pigeons, people tie up the soft feathers under their wings with rubber bands.
Sookhi: The kind of rubber bands we use for our hair?
Neel: Yep…then the pigeon learns how to do household chores (both laugh)
Sookhi: I’m a good cook
Neel: I’m good at decorating the house
Sookhi: I can sing really well
Neel: I’ve perfected the fall of my sari
Sookhi: I can thread eyebrows
Neel: I saw my mother’s hunched back one day and asked her what it was.
Sookhi: She said they used to be her wings that dried up into a hump. (Both laugh)
(Kabir is standing by the window. Niranjan and Jeevan are behind him)
Kabir: I’m the new one, and the forgotten girl is building a sky behind me. I wanted to ask- will there be my sky in your sky too? But I didn’t ask her. My birth was my fatal accident. That’s when it became clear that nobody's wide open sky contained a sky for me. The value of a man is reduced to his immediate identity and nearest possibility. To a vote. To a number. To a thing. Never has a man been treated as a mind. As a glorious thing made up of stardust. In every field, on the streets and in the books, in politics, and in dying and living. I will always be a breathing dilution.
Jeevan: Amal Vimal Kamal Kabir. (Sookhi and Neel’s laughter is heard from the other side of the window)
Kabir: Amal Vimal Kamal. There’s no space for Kabir here.
Niranjan: If we don’t find the starting and the end of this, we’ll never know what really happened.
Jeevan: What really happened?
Niranjan: I feel suffocated in these boots.
Jeevan: Outside, everyone is kicking off their chappals for boots.
Niranjan: Both houses have just passed a law that has made it illegal to wear chappals, even inside the house.
Kabir: People say wearing the boots makes them feel…civilised. Sophisticated.
Jeevan: Your feet stay absolutely under your control.
Niranjan: But to have to wear boots inside your own house…that is violence.
Kabir: It’s a tragedy, not violence. I can’t believe after all this time we’ve been stuck here, we’re still figuring this out.
Niranjan: We always circle back to where we started.
Kabir: I’m starting to feel like a dog. Like a dog chasing its own tail.
Jeevan: Actually the dog is stuck in a hurricane…
Niranjan: Jeevan leave us, run away while you still can
Jeevan: How can Jeevan run away?
Niranjan: How can Jeevan live here? Like this?
Kabir: All you’ll find out there is a crowd. A divided crowd, hell bent on dividing.
Jeevan: So blend into the crowd.
Kabir: To blend into that crowd is to turn yourself in. To bow your head for them and call it nationalism.
Niranjan: Listen…Jeevan is looking for Godot.
Kabir: I’ve become a monster. I always wanted to be a writer. A writer of science you know, like Carl Sagan. Jeevan, do you remember the picture of that lake that used to be up in my house?
Jeevan: Yes
Kabir: See the window on this wall? That lake is beyond this window.
Jeevan: But you don’t know how to swim-
Kabir: Well it’s better than drowning here.
Niranjan: But Godot must be almost here
Kabir: Tell him I got tired… and that I’m sorry…
Jeevan: I’ll find Godot and bring him just write it on a chit of paper. I’ve done all of yours till now.
Kabir: What’s the point of Godot without Gandhi? What can he do on his own?
Jeevan: Jeevan is looking for Gandhi, he’ll find him soon.
Niranjan: Kabir you can’t give up…
Jeevan: And where would you go?
Kabir: From shadows to the stars.
(Kabir crosses over to the other side of the window. He sees Neel and Sookhi lying down. He sits centre stage and watches them as if seeing them in a dream)
Neel: Do you remember the afternoons?
Sookhi: Yes. All of them.
Neel: How empty they felt, despite the freedom of them.
Sookhi: And how close the sky seemed in those hours.
Neel: All those afternoons- empty and ours.
Sookhi: The first time I dreamt of being free it was spelt in the clouds speeding, breaking, forming across the sky.
Neel: The number of agonising nights I spent, wondering if my sky was, could be, real.
Sookhi: And the number of times we shattered our knees, having leapt thinking we’d fly.
Neel: What is thirty five?
Sookhi: Yeah why thirty five?
Neel: Thirty five isn’t too little
Sookhi: Thirty five isn’t too much either
Neel: Thirty five is the middle ground
Sookhi: Between what has been lived…
Neel: And what will be lived.
Sookhi: The expected is broken and dying. Listen.
Neel: Yes.
Sookhi: Godot is a woman.
Neel: Even I think so.
Sookhi: There’s no way he’s a man
Neel: I’ll go to Godot first, as soon as I can fly.
Sookhi: Tell her we’ve wasted away, waiting for her.
(Behind them, Nurse instructs Suraj to destroy Sookhi’s sky. Suraj breaks it. Neel and Sookhi come to stand below their shattered sky. Nurse goes to Kabir’s bed and finds him gone. Asks Niranjan)
Nurse: Oi, where’s he gone?
Niranjan: He’s gone. (Points to the window)
Nurse: What were you doing?
Niranjan: Waiting for Godot.
Nurse: How come he went? He was waiting too.
Niranjan: Why don’t you go ask him yourself
Suraj: But there’s nothing on that side of the window.
Niranjan: That’s what I told him! But he was a new patient, hadn't learnt obedience yet.
Nurse: What does Kabir do anyway?
Suraj: Asks questions- that’s his disease. He asks questions and then goes mad.
Nurse: Arrey I meant what does he do in life? You know, for work?
Suraj: Oh he’s a writer…(Nurse and Suraj laugh at this)
Nurse: Writer? What kind of a job is that? All those books that have been written and never read and he wants to write more?
Suraj: Exactly my point. Read what’s already been written first! Haven’t our ancestors left us with enough beautiful stories? Want to hear a joke?
Nurse: Hmm
Suraj: Once upon a time there was a writer who couldn’t shit. He tries everything, and eventually goes to a famous doctor. The doctor listens to everything, and then asks him what he does. When he says he’s a writer, the doctor gives him ten rupees and tells him to go eat something first!
(Suraj finishes talking and starts laughing very loudly. He is the only one. Nurse walks over to the window. Jeevan is standing on the other side.)
Nurse: We’ve found some books in his house.
Niranjan: Godot?
Nurse: No- War and Peace, Manto, Ismat, Marx, Ambedkar…and chappals. He didn’t own any boots.
Suraj: He had asked Jeevan to find Gandhi and bring him here…wrote it out for him on a little slip of paper. That’s when I understood how ill he was.
Nurse: Jeevan brought him.
Suraj: What?
Nurse: Gandhi.
Suraj: (Laughing) Where would he find Gandhi now? Jeevan’s head will be hanging low this Godse Diwas.
Nurse: What’s on the other side of the window?
Niranjan: It’s just a window in a wall-
Suraj: Arrey there’s nothing on the other side. Listen…don’t go near it!
(Nurse jumps to the other side of the window. She spots Jeevan and looks scared. Jeevan starts walking towards her.)
Nurse: Papa…
Jeevan: Daughter…
Nurse: I will do so well. I’ll show you what greatness means. I’m not weak like the other girls, I’ll prove to you what a great son I can be.
Jeevan: Oh little one, the story is going all wrong.
Nurse: The story is perfect…it’s perfect!
(Nurse pushes Jeevan, he falls down. There is an announcement)
Announcement voice: This is to inform everyone that there is danger on all sides, from everyone and everything. Violence, curfew, murder, bullet, blood, and treason are religions. This means that anyone is well within their right to kill anyone, at any time. You are responsible for your own life. Avoid stepping outside, stay indoors and stay quiet. Till the crisis passes completely remember- long live the country, long live the state, long live division, long live hate.
(Everyone rushes to the doors, they are locked. Panic ensues, and Suraj takes out his phone)
[A lockdown-like situation is imposed. This can be connected to the covid lockdown. This, as well as Godot, depends on the director’s creative interpretation.]
Suraj: There’s no signal…are we in Kashmir?
(They break off into smaller groups. There is general chaos, in the midst of which Kabir stands up)
Kabir: We are all the heroes of our own stories. And to keep being heroes we have to have villains. The more terrifying the villains, the better heroes we are. That’s what is going to kill us all, one of these days- the hunger for a good villain. I’m not even here, I’ve been gone a long, long time. And this play, this play should have ended here. But how can plays end before everyone has learnt how to co-exist? Now these people are stuck, and they’ve been stuck for incomprehensibly long. Days… weeks…maybe even years.
Niranjan: What’s the date?
Suraj: How much longer will we be stuck here with each other?
Neel: What time is it?
Sookhi: How long have we been here?
Nurse: I’m scared.
Jeevan: There’s no need to be scared…
Niranjan: Yes, we’ve got Jeevan with us.
Suraj: Bastard.
Nurse: I’m scared of these people.
Sookhi: And the rest of us are scared of you people.
Kabir: Of course, because we’re all terrified of each other, and stuck together. Of course, because hell is other people, isn’t it?
[Kabir leaves. Niranjan and Sookhi crawl over to the spot where he was standing]
Sookhi: Did Godot come?
Niranjan: If he was here he would have gotten us out of this mess…
Sookhi: They’ve destroyed my sky…
Niranjan: Shhh. We’ve got to stay quiet or they’ll kill us.
Sookhi: Why should I stay quiet? They’re the reason we’re all stuck here in the first place.
Nurse: What was that? Because of us?
Jeevan: Yes, because of you and your people. All of this is your doing.
Nurse: But it was your fault!
Neel: What did he do?
Suraj: Ok wait. Tell me this- who’s fault was it first?
Neel: First?
Suraj: Yes, first? Who messed up before anyone else? In all of time? See? You don’t know either.
Jeevan: What do you mean ‘first’? How far back are we going, exactly?
Nurse: As far back as anyone remembers.
Niranjan: Has anyone followed history?
Sookhi: Who decides who gets to own history?
Suraj: We own it because we were here first.
Neel: First?
Nurse: Before anyone else.
Niranjan: All of us?
Sookhi: History is divided between us in equal parts.
(Nurse and Suraj team up against Sookhi, Neel and Niranjan support her. Jeevan speaks)
Jeevan: Well she isn’t wrong…
Nurse: Oh isn’t she? (everyone starts advancing on Jeevan)
Jeeven: Suppose you are history
Neel: What?
Niranjan: Why on earth…?
Suraj: Alright…you are history.
Nurse: Oh alright fine I’ll be history…carry on.
Jeevan: So because you’re standing with your back to me, I can only see your back.
Niranjan:...While I can see her face.
Neel: Where is everybody standing when they’re looking at history?
Nurse: I’m over here
Suraj: I’m here
Niranjan: I’m here
Neel: I’m here
Jeevan: I’m here
Sookhi: I’m here
(Nurse thinks for a while, then changes her position)
Nurse: No no, I’m here.
Suraj: Yes me too
Niranjan: Yes me too
Neel: Yes me too
Jeevan: Yes me too
Sookhi: Yes me too
Jeevan: And now Jeevan’s view of history is completely blocked.
Nurse: I can see it because I’ve read about it in books.
Suraj: Yeah I’ve seen it on whatsapp
Niranjan: Half
Neel: Just one ear…
Sookhi: Only chappals
Nurse: Only boots
Jeevan: But the people who spent their lives barefoot don’t even get a mention.
Suraj: Look, everything looks right over there
Neel: No, this right here is where the truth is.
Nurse: Why can’t you people see it?
Jeevan: Appropriation, purification, nationalisation.
Neel: Masturbation, appeasement, confirmation.
Niranjan: salt, oil, spice, onion.
Nurse: Objections, insinuation,discipline
Suraj: And on the seats of power a man in vajrasana who has never moved.
Sookhi: Non alignment, power, networks, breaking and fixing.
Niranjan: tricks, illusions, cut throat fighting.
Nurse: Bullshit
Jeevan: Inauguration
Neel: Killing
Sookhi: Loving
Suraj: Elevation
Niranaj: Help
Nurse: Remove
Sookhi: Surround
Suraj: honour
Jeevan: The story is going wrong.
(A whistle blows and music starts playing. Blackout. When the lights come on again everyone is scattered around the stage)
Jeevan: Should we try again?
Niranjan: Shhh. We have to be quiet.
Nurse: Where…?
Niranjan: Shhh! No
Jeevan: From the beginning….
Suraj: Oh shut up.
Neel: What? I’m ready, Suraj.
Suraj: Answer my question first- who made the first mistake?
Neel: Oh for- when?
Suraj: Long, long ago, before everything.
Neel: Abbe how long ago?
(Niranjan gets up and draws a line)
Niranjan: Shut up, both of you. We’ve got to learn to live together, it’s the only chance we have of getting out of here. Come on everyone, let’s start moving. Together.
Nurse: Is it that easy?
Neel: I mean…we have to start somewhere.
Sookhi: It’s just one step. We can all take one step forward together.
Nurse: So what are you waiting for? Take the step.
Sookhi: Oh I see how it is. This is also our job then?
Niranjan: I don’t want to be the only one.
Neel: Can we fix this place first? It’s a mess.
Jeevan: Ok, I’ll take the step. (He moves forward but nobody else moves)
Niranjan: Arrey- Jeevan moved ahead.
Jeevan: Come on!
(Sookhi, Neel and Niranjan join him)
Neel: Come on
Suraj: We can’t, we aren’t like you.
Nurse: Yes, we’re different. We don’t belong with people like you.
Niranjan: We were just together.
Nurse: We were never with you.
Jeevan: Just come!
Suraj: I really would have but…what about the injustices we’ve had to deal with?
Jeevan: That you’ve had to deal with?
Nurse: Not the two of us, specifically. He means people like us.
Jeevan: But we’re all more or less the same…we’re all ‘“like each other”
Suraj: That is exactly the insidious attempt- to make us all alike.
Niranjan: …but we are already alike. We’re all human.
Nurse: Already alike?
Neel: Listen to me, Suraj. Alike.
Suraj: No no no. We must separate the heroes and the villains.
(Suraj starts circling the four of them. When her line starts, Nurse does the same in the opposite direction. It is as if the four are surrounded)
Niranjan: The glasses you’re wearing aren't right for your eyes. Wrong power.
Sookhi: How can you look at the past through the lenses of today?
Nurse: Every villain must be punished for their crime.
Jeevan: The present is already suffering the punishment of the past.
Suraj: Why should we suffer it?
Nurse: We’ll do the punishing…
Niranjan: Then you’ll be the villains when the future looks back.
Neel: The children in our future will have to suffer the punishments of today’s crimes.
Sookhi: When will we get out of this roundabout?
Jeevan: When we forgive.
Nurse: Why should we ask for forgiveness?
Suraj: I’ll die before I ask for your forgiveness.
Neel: Then die.
Sookhi: Forgiveness.
Niranjan: Forgiveness isn’t enough.
Suraj: Why don’t you ask for it
Sookhi: Get lost
Niranjan: Shut up
Neel: Fuck off
Nurse: Can anyone actually ask for forgiveness, in real life?
Jeevan: Forgiveness…!
Neel: Can everything be forgiven? All of it- every single thing that has happened up to this moment?
Jeevan: Can we even ask forgiveness of this earth? Of the rivers and the mountains and the animals?
Suraj: What the fuck man
Nurse: What are you talking about??
Sookhi: Ok enough! We’re not going around in circles anymore.
Nurse: The Earth is round.
Suraj: The moon is round…
Nurse: Rotis are round.
Suraj: Even your Gandhi’s glasses are round.
Neel: We’ll never get out of the roundabout.
Nurse: See? We’re alike now.
All four: No.
Suraj: Yes, exactly alike
All four: No.
Nurse: Take a step, come on. See? Alike.
(Sookhi, Neel and Niranjan look at Jeevan)
Jeevan: The story is going wrong.
Black out
(Everyone is sitting on cycles that are arranged in a row. Suraj raises his hand and everyone looks at him)
Suraj: Let’s try again.
Niranjan: Let’s just stay very quiet and wait for Godot. We’ll be killed if we start talking amongst ourselves.
Jeevan: Yes we should stay quiet.
Nurse: So Jeevan is afraid?
Neel: (Raises her hand) I’m ready.
Nurse: Begin.
Suraj: Nobody has answered my question yet. Who’s fault was it? In the beginning?
(Everyone starts laughing despite themselves. They can’t control their laughter)
Neel: When?
Suraj: Long ago, before everything.
Niranjan: The problem is we’re all getting better.
Suraj: Of course, we’re all fine.
Jeevan: Yeah everything seems to be going ok.
Neel: It’s not too bad.
Sookhi: The people saying it’s bad are spreading rumours.
Niranjan: People will say anything to humiliate the country.
Suraj: The reality is that everything is going pretty good.
Nurse: And that’s the aim, after all.
(Everyone goes quiet. Nurse chuckles for a bit, then goes quiet)
Sookhi: We’ve started being ok with everything
Neel: Me not being able to fly…
Niranjan: Not finding the end of Godot’s story.
Jeevan: The pointless passing of our lives…
Sookhi: My sky turning dark
Suraj: Going to office every morning and returning every evening.
Nurse: And Godot never turning up.
Suraj: Godot will come.
Jeevan: If he comes he’ll see what we’ve become and leave.
Suraj: We won’t let him run away.
Neel: Yes he can’t just leave…
Nurse: Not after all the time we’ve spent waiting for him.
Sookhi: I have a lot of questions I need to ask him.
Suraj: He will come and give us all the answers we need.
Niranjan: Can’t you guys shut up? What questions? Come on, what questions do you have? Ask them all. I am Godot! But of course you won’t believe me. Your Godot needs to be hindu first, or muslim. And a lower caste Godot would be absolutely unacceptable to you. Have any of you, even once in your lives, seen a human being as a human being? Without your glasses and their changing lenses…religion, country, caste. This is exactly why Godot isn’t coming. He will never come.
Jeevan: Kabir was right…Godot won’t come without Gandhi.
Nurse: Godot will come..he has to.
Neel: I’ll grab him as soon as he comes.
Sookhi: I’ll fasten him to my sky.
Nurse: He won’t understand our problems till he faces some of his own.
Jeevan: Our problem? What are your problems? There is no end to our problems.
Suraj: Keep your mouth shut, you don’t know anything. Do you have any idea how difficult it is, being a defender of the faith?
Neel: It’s so tiring…spending your life running away from a humped back.
Sookhi: He has to feel the pain, the devastation of my sky shattering on the ground.
Suraj: We’ve been suffering for years…
Sookhi: Now it’s his turn.
Jeevan: But what will he suffer? And why?
Nurse: Enough to bring tears to his eyes…
Neel: No tears won’t be enough.
Niranjan: We should kill him, as soon as he gets here.
(Everyone looks at Niranjan, shocked. Then they think about it, and start to agree with him)
Suraj: Yes.
Neel: Yes.
Nurse: Yes, we should kill him.
Sookhi: Then what we say will pass off as what he said.
Nurse: We can change everything…
Suraj: History…
Sookhi: Humanity…
Neel: What they said…
Nurse: And what we heard…
Jeevan: Will we kill everyone who disagrees with us?
Suraj: And say he ordered it.
Niranjan: Do you think that’s right?
Suraj: Absolutely.
Sookhi: Yes
Nurse: It’s the best solution.
Neel: Kill the bastards.
Suraj: Kill them
Niranjan: Kill them
Sookhi: Kill them
(Everyone says ‘kill them’ together. Everyone goes quiet and looks at each other. Everyone looks at Jeevan.)
Jeevan: What are we saying? What’s happened to us? Kill them??
Nurse: (Everyone looks at Nurse) I didn’t say anything.
Suraj: (Everyone looks at Suraj) I wasn’t even here.
Neel: (Everyone looks at Neel) I would never say that…
Sookhi: (Everyone looks at Sookhi) Arrey! I’ve been battered up and my sky has been broken. How could I?
Niranjan: (Everyone looks at Niranjan) It must have been the other religion. Bloody traitors all of them.
(Everyone pauses, then returns to their position)
Neel: Are we really that bad? Were we really going to kill Godot?
Suraj: No…we’re all decent, good people.
Sookhi: I don’t think any of you are good people.
Niranjan: If we just stay quiet…we’ll all seem good to each other.
Nurse: Circumstances make us do bad things.
Niranjan: Shhh shut up.
Suraj: Look, we can just talk it all out properly.
Niranjan: Oh here we go again with his bullshit. Fine, I’ll join in this time.
(Everyone notices a spot. Jeevan goes near it)
Jeevan: Ok, let’s start again.
Suraj: So answer me, who’s fault was-
Nurse: No Suraj…assume all faults and injustices have been left behind. Ahead lies only what is right.
Neel: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Suraj: Yes, if we all talk about what is good and right we can all be good children. (He pushes Jeevan into the spot)
Jeevan: (Starts saying moral things) We’ve really messed everything up.
Nurse: Yes, we’re the ones who messed things up.
Niranjan: We aren’t right for each other.
Suraj: We’ve rolled out a red carpet of dead bodies for him.
Neel: We’ll have to start again.
Nurse: Build a clean space
Jeevan: So that Godot can come
Sookhi: We must forgive everything
Niranjan: It is important to listen to each other’s stories.
Sookhi: We won’t let history be turned into a monster.
Neel: History is in the stories grandmothers tell us.
Suraj: We have a right to fly in a wide open sky.
Nurse: Everyone has the moral right to fly in a wide open sky.
Sookhi: It belongs to all of us, equally.
Jeevan: Otherwise, there’s no end to the fighting, to the infinite cycles of revenge.
Niranjan: Revenge…then revenge for the revenge…then revenge for the revenge for the revenge…
Suraj: Revenge doesn’t change anything.
Nurse: We will change
Jeevan: Today
Sookhi: Now
Niranjan: This very moment…
Nurse: An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.
Neel: An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.
(There is darkness and suddenly all on stage can’t see anything)
Jeevan: Jeevan can’t see anything
Suraj: What happened suddenly? I can’t see anything.
Nurse: Me neither.
Sookhi: I don’t feel good
Niranjan: Can anyone see anything?
Neel: No
Nurse: How is that possible? How can we all suddenly go blind?
Jeeven: This is wrong.
Suraj: Absolutely wrong…
Sookhi: But who are we complaining to? There’s nobody here.
Niranjan: The audience?
Jeevan: What do you mean?
Niranjan: This is a play…the audience can see us.
Jeevan: No.
Niranjan: It is difficult to remain an audience member…but I’m sure there are at least a few people here who’ve managed it.
Sookhi: Who can see…
Neel: Even if it is a little blurry
Niranjan: Is anyone there?
Nurse: We need help
Suraj: But we will only accept help from people in boots
Nurse: Shut up- anyone will do…in chappals, barefoot- anyone at all.
Neel: Gandhi…Godse.
Suraj: Slap
Sookhi: Flower
Niranjan: Sickle
Jeevan: Broom
Nurse: Lamp
Niranjan: Armless
Neel: Legless
Sookhi: Hunchbacked
Jeevan: Black
Nurse: White
Suraj: As long as they aren’t as blind as us.
Nurse: Shh…no you’re right, blind people won’t do.
(Beat. Everyone waits)
Sookhi: What do we do now?
Suraj: I don’t know…
Nurse: The story is going wrong (Beat. Nothing happens)
Neel: The story is going wrong (Beat. Nothing happens)
Suraj: We can’t go back…Jeevan you say it.
Jeevan: The story is going wrong. (Everyone is quiet. Beat)
Niranjan: Shhh. What did I say? I’ve been telling all of you to shut up all along. Now look where you’ve landed us. We’re in hell.
Neel: Shhh look- something is happening over there.
Sookhi: Nothing is happening. We’re stuck.
Jeevan: The story has gone wrong.
Nurse: We’re past the point of no return.
Suraj: Do I want to return?
Sookhi: Yes…oh to go back.
Niranjan: Can we go back? Before everything?
Neel: Back to the beginning?
Nurse: The crossroads where we chose a path and started walking.
Jeevan: We haven’t moved from the crossroads. All we’ve done is splash some mud on the roads around us.
Niranjan: We have nowhere to go…all the roads are blocked.
Sookhi: We’re still at the crossroads.
Suraj: Why can’t there just be one straight highway? I hate crossroads.
Jeevan: Shh listen… (everyone goes quiet)
Nurse: Can you hear someone??
Jeevan: I think I know where we came from…little scraps of my memory are coming back to me.
Neel: Great! You lead the way and we’ll follow.
(Jeevan gets up. Everyone else starts following him, clutching each other’s clothes)
Suraj: Walk faster (Jeevan starts jogging, everyone follows him)
Sookhi: Yes, we’re in a hurry
Nurse: Faster please
Jeevan: I can’t see anything
Suraj: How can Jeevan not be able to see? That’s ridiculous.
Nurse: Fine, I’ll walk ahead
Neel: And give Jeevan directions? That’s how we all ended up blind in the first place.
Niranjan: Everyone shut up and just follow Jeevan
Sookhi: Technically this is all wrong
Neel: What?
Sookhi: Well we just became good
Niranjan: That’s true. We’d started talking about each with affection, love even.
Neel: We had just started to reform
Suraj: So why did we go blind?
Nurse: It would have made sense if we had gone blind earlier. But why now?
Suraj: I’m scared.
Nurse: I’ve been terrified of losing my eyesight since I was a child.
Jeeven: I’m afraid of having to wear those shirts…you know, the ones with two pockets.
Niranjan: I will never be able to read Godot’s ending.
Sookhi: Our sky…
Neel: And our flight…
Jeevan: Wait…wait.
Niranjan: What happened?
Jeevan: I think we’re going in circles. We’ve crossed this spot twice already.
Suraj: Have you gone mad?
Neel: Don’t lie.
Niranjan: Come on man, what are you saying?
Nurse: We’ve been going in circles for days? And you’re just telling us now?
Jeevan: I suspected it a while ago but I thought it was just Jeevan overthinking.
Neel: We trusted Jeevan…and he betrayed our trust.
Sookhi: My health is failing…I can’t handle more betrayals.
Jeevan: Let’s try again.
Niranjan: We’ve already gone blind and we’re exhausted. You’ll kill us just going around in circles.
Suraj: You did this on purpose didn’t you?
Neel: Why? To teach us a lesson?
Sookhi: To keep us under your control?
Nurse: We aren’t Jeevan’s slaves.
Niranjan: Do you think you’re the lion amongst the lambs here?
Jeeven: I- I’m not a lion. I’m Jeevan. Your Jeevan.
Nurse: Why did you do this to us?
Suraj: Tell us why!
Neel: We need an answer.
Sookhi: Tell us
Suraj: Tell us
Niranjan: Tell us.
Jeevan: What are you doing?! Stop….stop- please! (Everyone pounces on Jeevan and there is a struggle. The audience can’t see details of what is happening, but there is suddenly a loud noise and everyone stops. Jeevan is lying still- everyone is scared and crouch on the other side of the stage)
Niranjan: Jeevan isn’t moving.
Suraj: He’s not breathing either.
Sookhi: Have we…have we killed Jeevan?
Neel: We were angry, we weren’t thinking straight…but how could we have killed Jeevan?
Nurse: We? I didn’t do anything- I can’t even bear to look at him now.
Suraj: You think we can?
Sookhi: We killed him. We killed Jeevan, all of us. I feel sick.
Niranjan: Oh yes, like the rest of us are feeling fantastic.
Sookhi: No I mean… I can’t- (Sookhi collapses)
Nurse: Quit making excuses and get up. We are all equally responsible for Jeevan’s murder.
Niranjan: Funny how we all unite in the face of death.
Suraj: This isn’t unity. Think of it like this- there’s a forest fire and the lambs and the lions have to live together.
Neel: So you’re the lamb…?
Nurse: How does it matter right now who’s the lamb and who’s the lion? The forest fire is important, and the unity. Who is this?
Suraj: Who?
Neel: What happened to her now?
Niranjan: Get up…(Everyone touches Sookhi and immediately falls silent. They get up and walk to centre stage, where they start crying. They start running around wildly but bump into the walls, then into each other. They are desperate to get out but can’t find a way. The intensity reaches fever pitch, by the end they want to scream and be let out, but keep hitting the walls. They fall down, exhausted.)
(After a brief pause)
Niranjan: I can’t stand these boots anymore.
Nurse: Me to…
(Everyone takes off their boots and experience a strange, exhilarating sort of freedom)
Niranjan: Waiting for Godot makes sense now that we’re blind. But why were we waiting for him before? When we could see?
Suraj: Because he knows everything.
Niranjan: Yes, but we could see everything too back then.
Neel: I don’t want my eyes…
Nurse: I don’t want to see…
Niranjan: I can’t move.
Suraj: I can’t breathe-
Neel: Everything seems very far away…
Nurse: Maybe this is the end.
Suraj: Everything…
Nurse: So far…
Neel: Shhh
Niranjan: Quiet…
Suraj: Silence…
Nurse: The end…
Niranjan: The final exit.
Neel: I give up waiting for anyone.
Nurse: Me too.
Niranjan: Me too.
Suraj: Me too.
Nurse: Before saying goodbye I want to do one last thing…something I should have done a long time ago. If you can find it in yourself…please forgive me.
(The lights are slowly turned on)
Niranjan: I was thinking the same thing…I’m sorry.
Neel: Forgive me. (They are regaining their eyesight, but at this point it makes no difference)
Suraj: I should be the one apologising to everyone…
Niranjan: Please forgive me.
Suraj: I’m sorry.
Neel: I’m sorry.
Nurse: Sorry.
(All lights, including the ones on the audience are switched on. Jeevan and Sookhi get up, everyone apologises. Jeevan comes in, everyone takes the final bow)
The end.
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